A year ago, in 2020, when the coronavirus attacked the whole planet, I found out about panic attacks.
It was Saturday and I was reading a book at 2 am (I’m an owl) when, suddenly, I felt like I was out of breath. And my heart was beating like crazy. And then my arms and legs...I couldn’t move them.
It was the first time when I felt like I’m dying.
Later on, my friend suggested seeing a psychotherapist. I knew I couldn’t afford it but I agreed to come to the first session which was for free. The doctor said I keep a lot inside of me. Different emotions, anxiety, and some triggers at home were stressing me.
After the session, I felt even worse because I couldn’t afford the sessions and so I couldn’t heal myself. I needed help.
1. I contacted my best friend.
When we met I told her everything I found out. Said that I don’t know how to cope with those attacks. She cheered me up and we started to think about how we could help me. I remembered what the doctor said about keeping emotions inside of me.
2. I spoke out.
My friend was listening while I was describing all the situations, all the hard feelings, and all the problems. And for the first time, I cried in front of someone. Fortunately, it was my friend who was lucky to see my red face and swollen eyes, not a stranger. Actually, I was surprised. I didn’t realize how much I felt until I spoke it up. From that time I shared all the feelings I had with my friend. I chatted with her whenever I needed to. But those triggers at home were stressing me more and more.
3. I spent my time out of home triggers as much as possible.
On the weekend I went to my friends and stayed with them until Monday. And I felt much better. I was relaxed and slept well. But then I returned home and things got worse. During the pandemic, I was working remotely so I was like a prisoner, closed in my own apartments.
4. I took the tranquilizers.
I went to see my doctor and got the prescription.
It’s not a sedative or antidepressant…After those pills, you just feel calmer. They don’t affect sleep or physical activity. Although you might want to consider skipping alcohol and cigarettes. Talk to your doctor about this.
So, I invited pills to the game.
After a few days, I became calmer and more focused. My friend always supported me and listened to all my strugglings. Also, my two other friends allowed me to spend some nights in their apartments. But I wanted to be able to stay at home, so I decided to try one more thing.
5. I started running every evening.
By doing this I helped myself get rid of any stress I might still have. I created a playlist with my favorite songs and let myself relax and just ran. Thanks to all of this I felt much better and my panic attacks stopped.
I learned that it is absolutely OK to show your feelings and let them go away by themselves. Do not close them, trying to forget. And it was a mistake to think that no one can help me and I’m alone. I thanked my friends for helping me and just be there for me. I continued to do all those things above except the pills. After a few weeks, I didn’t need them anymore.